They say that the anticipation of the actual day is worse and I agree. Today is what would have been my mom's birthday. All week I've been dreading it. I even planned on taking the day off so I would be able to deal with my feelings and do something special to honor her. So, it's the 20th. Her day. It's a day of celebrating her life and memory... the good times.
So, today I went out and got my nails done. Right now, this is an indulgence and special treat. But if there's one thing I remember about my mom is that she usually had her nails manicured and freshly polished. It was just her thing. I even did her nails while she was in the hospital. Therefore, I went to lunch at our favorite lunch spot at Merridee's and then got a manicure and pedicure. We would have done this together.
I'm not going to lie. Today also hurts. I have so much I want to share with her and talk to her about; advice I need, a hug. She would tell me that some of my concerns are lame, but also I'm sure in reality, she would make me stress in some ways too. Mothers tend to do that. At least I think the good ones do. They pay attention to details in your life and want to protect your future. They think of the stuff that you need to, but don't. Anyways, happy birthday, Mom! Your are still beautiful and I love you.
P.S. I ate a sweet treat for you.
The last picture taken of my mom and I together....ironically on her last birthday.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
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